The Tour of Tucker County and other race stuff

I got my upgrade from a Cat. 4 to a Cat. 3 today. So much for bike racing being a money-making venture for the rest of the summer. Growin' up.

Me and Steve went down to Thomas, West Virginia, for the Tour of Tucker County. VeloNews says this is one of the toughest one-day road races in America. Whoever said that doesn’t like climbing. As you may know, I love climbing; therefore, I dug this race.

It’s a long drive to Thomas, two and a half hours south of Pittsburgh. I tried not to sleep, I failed. I hadn’t slept well the night before; too much anxiety about racing, people, moving, life in general. A typical theme for the last 26 years. We stopped at a McDonald’s on the way, I needed food. Really, though, McDonald's? Thankfully, I didn’t have the balls to order anything with meat. They have yogurt on the menu now. Did you know that? When was the last time you ate there? It had been at least five years for me. I hope it will be at least another five. (We did eat Taco Bell post-race. Does this make me a hypocrite? This meal also did not include meat.)

We get there. We register. There are no bathrooms -- we crap in the woods. The race begins.

It’s a neutral roll-out to the starting line, an almost-five-mile descent. The race ends where the descent began; this is our preview. Awesome. I didn’t think I’d have brake pads for the race by the time we got to the line.

The race starts. About ten miles in, we hit the first climb, a steady two-miler. As expected, the field of fifty splinters. Now there’s a 15-man lead group, I’m in it. We soft-pedal the next 25 miles. We hit some crazy, sketchy, gravely, just-cut-grass-covering-the-road three-mile descent. Three deer emerge from the woods and dart across the road in front of us. One of the guys in our field rides into a ditch going at least 40. I see one of my teammates from the pro race covered in mud, standing in the ditch. I hate descending; I get dropped; I don't want to die. Thankfully, we regroup at the bottom. This was Top Three Sketchiest Times Ever on a Bike for me.

We hit the base of "The Climb." My strategy: mid-paced and steady wins the race; keep thinking about Going-to-the-Sun Road, that was a 6.6-mile climb, this is only four and a half. Easy. Two guys go. The rest of us just pedal. A mile and a half up the climb, I’ve dropped the field. I keep pedaling. The two guys in front of me never get any closer, but I keep getting further away. I catch a ton of masters and pro DNFers, but not the guys that finished one, two.

I finished two minutes back from the winner -- it turns out he’s a Cat. 4 on the road, but some kind of mountain biking and cyclocross national champion who only races road five times a year. I finished about a minute out of second. I got third. Fourth place finished a little over two minutes behind me. I love climbing.

I won a $40 computer with a cadence meter. I’m not feeling all that scientific; my speed will determine my cadence. Drop under 20, you're going slow, pedal harder, right? Probably not.

We drove back: We listened to "Emergency & I," sang all the words, and I drank a celebratory forty. West Virginia gas stations sell handles of whiskey, but not Sparks. Huh?

Revelation of the race: Race season is only really preparation for the Dirty Dozen!

Other races (and there have been quite a few):

May 24, Michelob Ultra presents “The Downtown Erie Criterium”: 9th Place. 20-some laps on a cool L-shaped course with lots of fun road hazards like manhole covers and pot holes. A promoter asked me how I liked the course post-race. I told him I don’t like crits., but I liked this crit. except for the poor condition of the streets. It’s May, he told me, in Erie. “What did you expect?” I won $60 worth of tires in a prime. I rode well, could have easily gone another ten, went nowhere in the sprint, finished ninth. I could have done better if I worked harder? Eric made a two-man break and stuck it for second. He got to stand of a podium! Good job, dude!

May 27, Allegheny Cycling Association: 9th Place.

June 3, Allegheny Cycling Association: 1st Place. It rained like hell. I seem to race well in the rain. I came around some guys and won the sprint. This was the first points race of the season. I'm winning. Cool! If I can win an "A" race, I'll pull a trifecta. Yeah right ...

June 7, Downtown Oakmont Criterium: 5th Place. We rode there and back: not as next-level as Aliquipa, but sorta, only ten miles. It was a crit.: We rode around in circles. I won a $20 prime. Ted King-Smith soloed away and won! Awesome job, dude! I finished fifth for $15.

June 10, Allegheny Cycling Association: 9th Place. One spot out of the points. I'm frustrated. I felt like hell all race. No fun.

June 13, Tour of New York Prospect Park Criterium: Field finish.